


A Series of (not so) Unfortunate Mistakes

by Kenabee



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: College AU, F/F, I don't even know this was supposed to be something else and now it's not, Soccer AU, college soccer au, definitely gonna have some angst, most of the uswnt, smut?, they all go to UNC because I love UNC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-02 12:04:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20740286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kenabee/pseuds/Kenabee
Summary: Tobin Powell Heath is a self proclaimed free spirit. She doesn’t believe much in planning, or worrying, or doing anything with focus beyond soccer and writing. So she’s not overly concerned that the pretty girl across the room is going to ever mean anything, or concerned that her lips taste like strawberries or that her heart is suddenly pounding like crazy. She’s not concerned at all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so I was writing something else and then a chapter went off the rails so I pulled it out and now it's this??? Idk but I'm into it

“Hi.” She says, keeping her voice just loud enough to be heard over the music and chatter of the party. The girl looks at her through her lashes, bright green eyes that almost glow in the flashing, cheap strobe lights. 

“Hi.” She raises an eyebrow, smiling in a detached way. Tobin thinks she wasn’t expecting someone to come and talk to her, not pressed against the wall away from the crowd. 

“I’m Tobin.” She sticks out her hand, which cracks a small smile on the other girls face as she shakes it. 

“Christen.” She lets go quickly and takes a sip of her drink, eyes flicking between Tobin and the crowd of people beyond them. Tobin leans against the all next her, purposely brushes their shoulder together slightly, and smiles into her cup when Christen doesn’t pull away. 

“So,” she says after a few seconds, “this is shit music.”

“Yeah.” Christen exhales on a laugh, a full smile finally breaking through. She shakes her head and looks over to the DJ for a second, pointing her cup towards him. “That’s actually my ex.”

“Oh. I’m sorry” Tobin says, feeling slightly deflated that she may have pegged this girl wrong. But Christen just shakes her head and laughs, looking away from the DJ and down at her feet. 

“Not at all. We both just realised I had...” she trails off and tilts her head to the side. “Different interests.”

“Oh?” Tobin says, laughing when Christen smirks up at her. She relaxes back into the wall again, smiles when Christen shifts just so their shoulders are fully pushing against each other. 

“Yeah, it wasn’t going to work out between us.” Christen smiles into her cup and it’s a little infectious, making Tobin grin at her.

“And why is that?” Christen’s smile turns into a smirk while she tilts forward, lips comign to the side of Tobin’s head

“I’m a little hot, do you wanna go outside with me?” Christen whisper-shouts in her ear, and Tobin nods quickly, lets Christen lead her around the crowd to the back door. 

They step out and the rush of cool air is sweet relief on Tobin’s skin. She tilts her head back to extend her neck a little, uses her free hand to sweep her hair up and off it. 

“That feels good.” She breathes out, smiles when Christen giggles at her. She looks down slightly and is pleased to see Christen watching her, eyes roaming over her face and neck. She drops her hair slowly, lowers her chin to meet Christen’s eyes and tilt her head towards the fence. 

“Okay.” Christen says to her silent question, turning so they’re walking side by side towards it. “So, what’s your major?”

“English. What’s yours?”

“Uh, business and marketing.” Christen says, and Tobin has to raise her eyebrows, impressed a bit. She doesn’t exactly give off a business major vibe, not with her cutoff shorts and crop top, showing off toned abs. Not that Tobin is complaining. 

“Going to be honest, marketing is my personal nightmare.” Christen giggles again, shakes her head and turns to smile at her while they reach the fence. “But I bet you’re really good at it.”

“What makes you say that?” Christen leans her back against the fence, eyebrows raised as Tobin steps right in front of her. 

“Well, you’re marketing yourself pretty well right now.” She trails her eyes slowly up and down Christen, taking a slight step forward so her right foot is just wedged between Christen’s feet, their hips almost touching. 

“That,” Christen says, lips twitching before a laugh bubbles out of her, “was one of the worst line I’ve ever heard.”

“Rude!” Tobin says, but she’s laughing herself, letting her free hand come up to rest on the fence next to Christen’s waist. “I don’t have much to work with here!”

“You don’t need a line,” Christen smirks, this time her eyes dipping down Tobin’s body with a smirk, “I’m already sold.”

“Oh, well that’s a relief.” Tobin leans forward, brushes her lips against the side of Christen’s jaw, dragging them slowly towards her lips. 

She’s surprised when Christen’s hand comes up, around her neck to pull her faster, connecting their lips with more pressure than she was expecting. It’s hot, and almost needy, the way Christen breathes into her mouth, and she tastes like the smoothies Alex makes in the mornings. Tobin loses herself in it, lets herself push forward so she’s got Christen trapped against the fence, doesn’t even think twice about dropping her cup so she can wind that hand through her hair. 

One of Christen’s hands comes up to softly cup her cheek, and it’s juxtaposition to the way her other hand is practically bruising Tobin’s hip and back. She pulls her closer, hips lining up perfectly in a way that Tobin hasn’t experienced with the shorter girls she usually hooks up with. 

Christen pulls back suddenly, head falling back as she breathes in heavily, and Tobin takes the opportunity to drag her lips up her throat, fighting a smirk when she feels Christen shiver under her. She pulls Christen’s hair slightly, tilting her head to give herself more access, and this time can’t hold in the smirk when Christen lets out a soft sound, almost a whimper. 

“Fuck.” She gasps out when Tobin bites down, soothes it with her tongue before pulling the skin in and sucking slightly. Christen’s hand convulses on her hip, the other one sliding down to grab Tobin’s shoulder tightly. Her back arches, pushing her hips further into Tobin’s, her leg sliding between and pushing up, making Tobin gasp and release Christen’s neck. She pulls her head back to look at Christen, whose eyes are lidded and her lips swollen in a way that makes Tobin want to take her home. 

“Christen!” She hears, Christen tensing in her arms and straightening up. “Christen where are you!” 

“Fuck.” She pushes away from Tobin, sideways and forwards in a way that forces Tobin to take a step to the side to look across the yard. She’s surprised when she sees Kelley, hand around her mouth still shouting Christen’s name. Christen starts walking without saying a word, and Tobin just watches in confusion as Kelley spots her and a bright grin stretched across her face. 

“Hi! We need to go home, I’m tired and drunk!” Kelley says loudly, and Tobin almost snorts before the words sink in and Tobin realises what Kelley must mean - that she and Christen live together, which means Christen is the new transfer to the team which means Tobin just made out with a teammate, something she swore never to do again. 

“Fuck.” She breathes out, throws her head back and winces when it hits the fence a little too hard. “Fuck fuck fuck.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @LazyLix89 wanted more spice so I added a dash of nutmeg

Tobin almost doesn’t go to practice, almost considers trying to convince Alex she’s sick or hungover or something, but she doesn’t. Because as much as Tobin is dreading seeing Christen and Kelley at practice, she wants to be there more. She wants to see teammates she hasn’t seen over the summer and she wants to be on the field again and look at the baby blue seats of the stadium. 

So she goes, and ignores Alex’s jabs and comments, and slight warnings, about Christen. She somewhat regrets telling her the second they got home from the party, wishes she had just kept her mouth shut, but she hadn’t. She’d spilled the beans practically the second they were in the apartment. 

The field is almost empty when they get there, Alyssa and AD are stretching by goal, while JJ and Kelley are running a lap. She freezes when she sees Christen, running just a few feet ahead of them, but Alex tugs her forward roughly, to the bench and Kling. 

Kling doesn’t say anything, just sips her water and stares out at the field. Tobin knows better than to try and talk to her before 8 am, and at 7:30 she takes care to give her space and quiet. Pinoe and Ashlyn come in together, Ashlyn carrying Pinoe, and a few seconds later Ali comes in. Tobin almost laughs when she sees the gale Ali is sending at Megan’s back, but thinks better of it when Alex clears her throat next to her and sends her a significant look. 

“Let it go.” She whispers harshly, but Alex just shrugs and goes back to tying up her cleats. Tobin rolls her shoulder before starting on her own, and then taking off, away from Alex and everyone else to a spot near midfield. She’s hoping no one will bother her while she stretches, and gets about halfway through them when a throat clears next to her. She throws her back snack with a sigh, “Seriously Alex? Just leave it alone.”

“Uh, not Alex.” Tobin turns her head to see Christen standing a few feet to her left, hand raised in an awkward wave. Tobin pulls up from her lunge to look at her and cant help but shift nervously as they stare at each other. 

“Hi.” She says eventually, and Christen finally looks up from the grass to smile a little at her. 

“Hey.” Her voice is clearer now, less scratchy than it was at the party, and Tobin would be grateful except she’s still completely gorgeous and probably still tastes like strawberries. Tobin roughly shake herself internally and forces her eyes away from Christen’s face, over her shoulder. “So about the other night-“

“I wouldn’t have done that if I knew you were a teammate.” Tobin interrupts, a little panicked and a lot not willing to have a conversation about this. But Christen just relaxes, let sour what sounds like it could be a sigh of relief. 

“Okay good, me neither.” She nods before taking a step forward and sticking her hand out. “Start over?”

“I’d like that.” Tobin says, and she means it even if it tastes a bit like a lie. She reaches out to shake Christen’s hand and forces a smile, lets go just as the whistle blows, and they both turn to see coach wave them over. 

Practice goes smoother than she expects, and she only finds herself distracted by Christen a few times. The second time isn’t even just her, as half the team stops to watch her run across the field, quickly outpacing their defense. It’s impressive in a way that makes the whole team share grins amongst one another, makes her looks to coach and smirk at the look of concentration on his face. She can already tell it’s going to be a much more interesting season.

~~~

They’re at Waffle House, because Emily wouldn’t stop asking for it until Kelley finally just told everyone to stop arguing. Tobin ends up with a plate of pancakes and fruit, something Alex tsks at her over her omelet. She’s at a table with her Emily and Lindsey, letting the three of them bicker and talk about things over her. She can’t help the way her eye wander slightly over Lindsey’s head, to rest on Christen who’s talking animatedly with Kelley. 

She doesn’t watch for long, wary of being caught by anyone, it she watches long enough to see Christen throw her head back in a laugh and for the slight bruising on her neck to show. It makes Tobin flush, and she forces herself to look away, down to her food and not to look up again until the blush on her cheeks goes away. Which takes a while. 

“Hey,” Emily nudges her as they walk out of the restaurant, “you okay?”

“What?” Yeah, I’m good.” She says, confused but Emily just shrugs. 

“You just seem a little off.”

“No, I’m good.” Emily nods, clearly not really believing her but not willing to push it. It’s probably why she’s Tobin’s favourite.

“Incoming!” She hears Kelley shout, and tenses automatically. But she doesn’t jump on Tobin, instead straight onto Emily’s back who grunts and struggles to shift so they don’t fall. 

“Get off me crazy woman!” Emily shouts, laughing as Kelley just clings tighter. 

“No.” Kelley says flatly, sending them both into a fit of laughter as Emily slowly carries her down the sidewalk. Tobin outpaces them quickly, disinterested in staying to see if the weird flirting routine they’ve had going for a year now is going to keep happening. 

She walks quickly, until she’s at the front with Becky and AD, who are, naturally, talking about practice and things to improve. She rolls her eyes but lets their conversation roll over her, absorbs bits and pieces but mostly stays lost in her own thoughts. 

“Hey.” Alex comes up next to her, marching her pace. “Is it okay if Serv comes over? He just got back on campus and said maybe we could watch a movie or something.”

“Sure.” She shrugs, ignores Alex’s bright smile and continues the rest of their walk in silence, barely responding to Alex’s comments or excitement about seeing her almost-boyfriend.

~~~

They make it through two weeks before Tobin starts being able to start looking at Christen as a teammate and not someone she wants to makeout with again. It’s a relief once it finally happens, once she stops looking at her neck to see if the hickey is still there, stops wanting to put a new one there, stops thinking about if she still tastes so good. Instead she watches Christen with a critical eye, watches as she runs and passes, and starts getting to know her playing style in a way that makes it easier to work with her. 

So she’s feeling confident about this party, even agreed to let Alex invite people over for a pregame. Just a few teammates, she said, just so they have a good group to walk to Servando’s with. Tobin knows Alex is nervous, has been nervous ever since she and Serv started hooking up regularly over the summer, so she pushes aside her annoyance at the idea of people being in her space and helps her clean up a bit. 

Lindsey and Emily are the first ones to arrive, with a giant bottle of vodka that Tobin does not want to know how they purchased. They’re pouring a second round of shots for everyone when there’s a knock on the door. She can see Kelley through the peep so she opens it quickly, lets her in and spins around to grab a shot. She takes it quickly before turning back, and nearly chokes it back up when she sees Christen. 

Her hair is down again, something she doesn’t do at practice, and it’s curly and soft looking. Tobin can’t stop her eyes from wandering over her outfit, a short black dress that hugs her waist and legs in a way that makes Tobin’s mouth go dry. She has to force herself to turn away, and takes the shot from Emily automatically, downing it without thinking about the alcohol or the fact that she was supposed to stop at two. 

Alex turns music on, pulling Lindsey and Christen into the living room out of sight, and Tobin leans back against the fridge to squeeze her eyes tight. She ignores Kelley and Emily’s flirting across the kitchen, and takes a few measured breaths to calm herself. 

She knows she’s being ridiculous, knows that it doesn’t matter how good Christen looks or how much she’d like to run her teeth across her throat again. She knows that she can’t just hook up with a teammate and not face consequences for it. And she knows she’s not going to make another move on Christen. But it’s still frustrating how good she looks and it’s frustrating that Tobin hasn’t gotten laid in over two months. 

She lets Emily feed her another shot, while Kelley calls out that they’re leaving, and Alex drags the other two out of the living room, shutting the music off. Tobin avoids looking at Christen, avoids looking at anyone really, the entire walk over, just lets Emily throw an arm around her shoulders and chatter away in her ear. It’s not a far walk, barely two blocks, but Tobin swears it takes forever as she tries to keep her eyes off of Christen’s backside. 

They can hear faint music from outside the front door, and Tobin almost laughs when she sees the way Servando’s eyes light up as they walk up the steps. He’s clearly been waiting for Alex, but tries to play it cool as he jokes around with her and leads her inside, not even looking at the rest of them. Tobin shares an eyeroll with Kelley, the only other person who knows what a mess it’s been dealing with the two of them, and they walk into the loud house behind them. 

Tobin loses the group quickly, intent on getting a cup to pour water in before someone tries to hand her another drink, and doesn’t see any of her teammates for about an hour as she wanders group to group saying hello to people. She ends up spotting Lindsey and AD, against the wall across the room, and weaves her way through to join them. She doesn’t say anything beyond “hey”, just lets their conversation wash over her as her eyes roam across the room. She spots Alex and Servando heading up the stairs across the room, has to smile into her cup at the lovestruck expression on both their faces. It’ll be a wonderful relief if one of them finally bucks up enough to actually communicate, but for now it’s entertaining to watch them bumble around each other and fail to realise they’re already a couple. 

She continues watching the room, sipping slowly on her water, when a shoulder bumps into hers roughly, a body leaning against the wall heavily and almost seeming to try and hide behind her. She turns to see Christen, eyes wide as she looks across the room, and Tobin follows her eyesight to see a guy looking around the floor in confusion. 

“Please don’t see me, please don’t see me.” She can faintly hear Christen whispering, and Tobin moves before thinking about it, turning her back on the party and stepping in front of Christen, effectively blocking her from sight. She looks up at Tobin with relief and surprise, but doesn't move or say a word for a few seconds. Someone brushes against Tobin’s back, so she puts her hands on the wal, on either side of Christen’s hips, and regrets all of her decisions when someone pushes into her again, forcing her into Christen’s body. Christen reacts automatically, hands grabbing Tobin’s hips to steady her and Tobin can’t stop her body from leaning into it, from pushing just a little more into her. She squeezes her eyes shut, afraid to look at Christen, until Christen speaks up.

“Well, this is cozy.” It’s dry, and it surprises a laugh out of Tobin. She finally opens her eyes to see Christen smiling softly at her, and it’s a little too much for how close she is and how good she looks. “Thank you. I couldn’t shake him.”

“It’s okay, Tommy’s the worst.” Christen laughs a little, making her chest push against Tobin’s, and it takes everything she has not to lean in to it even more, not to try and kiss Christen. She pushes back instead, forcing whoever is behind her to step away, and she keeps careful distance between her and Christen while she peeks over her shoulder. 

“I think he’s gone.” Tobin nods but makes the mistake of looking into Christen’s eyes and freezes. They’re beautiful and for a second Tobin completely forgets that she’s should be pulling back, should be stepping away, instead of leaning closer. Christen’s eyes drop to her lips and it shocks her out of it, she steps to the side, turning to lean back against the wall. Christen clears her throat and looks down, their shoulders touching slightly, and Tobin works to get her breathing to a regular pace. She looks around the room and spots Kelley looking at them, grabbing Emily and pointing over. They start making their way towards them but Tobin isn’t interested in whatever drunken thoughts Kelley might have on all this, doesn’t want to watch Emily look at Kelley with heart eyes.

“I’m going outside.” She barely gets out before she’s pushing off the wall, away from Christen and towards the back door. She ignores AD’s hand on her arm, shrugs it off and keeps walking until she’s outside and around the corner away from people.

She’s not sure why she feels like this, overwhelmed and frustrated, because Christen is just a girl. Admittedly a very hot girl, but still just a girl that Tobin doesn’t know very well, if at all. It’s just getting harder to ignore the fact that Tobin would very much like to kiss her again, would very much like to do more than kiss her. 

“Are you okay?” Tobin groans automatically, head falling back against the side of the house while she looks over. She cringes when Christen flinches a little, looks down and away from her. “Sorry, I’ll just…” 

She points her thumb and starts backing away, almost trips over a hole before Tobin reaches out, grabs her hips to steady her. She grabs Tobin’s wrists, steps closer to her and away from the little hole in the ground, and Tobin can already feel a blush covering her cheeks when Christen looks back up and doesn’t release her wrists.

“Sorry.” Christen says again, quiet this time, but Tobin just shakes her head, finally pulls back, forcing Christen to drop her wrists while she leans back against the wall. 

“Why are you apologizing?” Christen blushes, which is interesting, and Tobin watches her face carefully as she bites her lip and looks down at the ground.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable earlier, I was just trying to hide.” Tobin smiles softly, relaxes a little and smiles at Christen.

“That didn’t make me uncomfortable. I’m always happy to save someone from Tommy.” Christen snorts a little, making Tobin’s smile grow wider. “Seriously, he’s a dick, I’ll always save you from him if you need it.”

“Thanks, Tobin.” She says softly, smiling up at her through her lashes, and Tobin is reminded exactly why she came outside and exactly how alone they are on the side of the house. She clears her throat and looks away, across the little side yard to the fence and tries to clear her head. Christen doesn’t seem to notice, or if she does she ignores it, because she comes to stand in front of Tobin, lifts her cup towards her. “Water?”

“Uh, yeah, thanks.” Tobin says, her throat is dry and water sounds amazing. She raises a hand to grab it, but Christen doesn’t let go when she does, just helps lift the cup to Tobin’s lips. Tobin takes a small sip, afraid she might choke if she tries to drink any more with Christen this close, and swallows it heavily when Christen pulls the cup back, both their hands still on it. 

“I like this,” Christen’s free hand tugs on Tobin’s flannel, rubbing it between her fingers, “it’s a good colour on you.”

“Thanks.” Tobin gets out, swallowing loudly and ignoring the way her pulse quickens when Christen’s finger brushes across her collarbone briefly. 

She stares at Christen, eyes flicking back and forth between hers before accidentally dropping down to Christen’s lips and back up. She can feel her cheeks burning, and she’s grateful it’s somewhat dark outside, maybe enough to hide the colour. Christen takes a half step closer, toes between Tobin’s feet, and it puts bother their elbows at an awkward angle. Tobin lets go, a little reluctantly, and almost snorts when Christen just drops the cup, letting it fall with a quiet splash of the remaining water. The humour of it fades though as Christen places that hand on the wall by Tobin’s head, leaning closer and stopping her breath.

“What are you doing.” She manages to get out, barely a whisper. Tobin inhales sharply as Christen leans forward, brushing her nose along her cheek until her lips are pressing against the edge of her jaw and then her ear.

“I really want to kiss you.” She breathes, sending a shiver down Tobin’s spine, her hands involuntarily flexing out and grabbing Christen’s hips. Christen pushes forward, chests flushed, and Tobin’s breath gets stuck in her throat. Christen pulls back to look at her, eyes dark and lidded, and Tobin feels frozen as she leans forwards, just barely brushing her lips over Tobin’s, whispering onto them. “Please?”

“Fuck.” Tobin says before pushing forward, pressing her lips hard against Christen’s. It’s rough, almost bruising, as they both fight for some kind of dominance. Tobin gets frustrated, pushes up and spins them so Christen’s back hits the wall with a gasp. Tobin takes control, pushing a leg between Christen’s and using her hands to keep her hips pulled forward. She reconnects their lips, smirks into it when Christen moans and grinds down on her leg. Their tongues tangle together and Tobin almost sighs at the taste, strawberries and vodka, until Christen’s tongue brushes the roof of her mouth, sending a shudder across her body.

She pulls back to breathe, taking in a gasping breath while Christen lazily kisses along her cheek to her jaw, teeth dragging across it and giving Tobin goosebumps. She presses forward, brings her lips to Christen’s throat and sucks some of the skin into her mouth while Christen moans quietly. It spurs her on, and she becomes almost determined to hear her do it again, moving to a spot just below her ear, then tugging on her earlobe. Christen gasps out sharply, fading into a low moan as she pushes down on Tobin’s leg, and satisfaction and heat rushes to her stomach. 

“Please,” Christen gasps, he head falling back against the wall, “Please I need-”

“What do you need?” Tobin asks, willing to do whatever Christen wants right now, if it’ll just keep them kissing for a little longer, if they can just keep doing this for a second more. Christen presses down again at her words, almost fully grinding against her thigh, and it’s making Tobin dizzy.

“Just, I need-” she cuts off on a gasp as Tobin bites down on the junction between her neck and shoulder, “I need you to take me home.”

“What?” Tobin pulls back in surprise, voice breathless, hands flexing on Christen’s hips as her eyes flutter open. She looks beautiful, wrecked in a way, pushed against the wall with small bruises forming on her neck.

“I want you to take me home,” Christen leans forward to tug on Tobin’s ear with her teeth, “because there are things I want to do to you that I can’t do here.”

“Fuck, yeah, yeah okay.” Tobin practically moans out, her breath catching and heat pooling between her legs. Christen smirks at her and it’s so surprisingly confident and hot that Tobin has to lean forward and kiss her one last time, before pulling back and grabbing her hand, leading her down the side yard to the fence.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you thought this was going in a different direction but it's not it's going in a direction with no destination because I didn't make an outline for this so idk what's gonna happen but it's happening

Tobin doesn’t regret things very often, and she doesn’t exactly regret this, but as she watches Christen try to sneak out of her bed a few hours later she comes about as close as she gets. She keeps her eyes almost closed, just a sliver to watch her through, but Christen doesn’t look back, doesn’t even check to see if Tobin is still asleep, just leaves the room quickly and quietly.

Once Tobin hears the front door close she sits up and runs her hands over her face. She’s not upset Christen left, a little relieved actually, but it still sits wrong with her. Like maybe she should have asked her to stay or done something other than fuck her and let her leave. But Tobin doesn’t know how to do this, not with a teammate and not with someone like Christen. She’s still trying to wrap her head around how different Christen was in bed, was with Tobin, than she is on the field or just during the day. 

“Shit.” She whispers to herself, pulls her hair out of the messy ponytail Christen had put it in, wincing at the slight soreness from being pulled on. She stands slowly, legs still a little wobbly, and she walks to the bathroom, pretending she can’t feel the ghost of Christen’s fingers bruising into her hips. She pees quickly and scrubs her soapy hands a little aggressively, trying to erase the feeling of Christen from them. She doesn’t look in the mirror, keeps her eyes down, doesn’t want to see whatever marks Christen left on her skin, or lack thereof. She almost wishes she could just block the entire night from her mind, pretend it didn’t happen.

Well, maybe she can. Since Christen might be thinking the same thing, based on the way she slipped out without a word, without even looking at Tobin. Maybe they can just go back to being teammates and Tobin can forget how sweet her skin tastes or how she gasped and clawed at her shoulders when Tobin licked into her. Or the fact that Christen might have a bit of a praise kink and is really into biting. Tobin can definitely forget about that and go back to just being teammates. 

Definitely.

~~~

She avoids Christen, and by extension half of the team who have practically adopted her. She doesn’t know how to approach her, or them, can’t get her head calm enough unless they’re at practice, so she stays with Alex and JJ, sometimes AD and Alyssa, and practically runs away whenever Christen comes near her off the pitch. Alex doesn’t ask, which is almost worse because it means she probably already guessed and doesn’t deem it worth talking about. Which means she’s either disappointed or thinks it won’t happen again and Tobin doesn’t know which is worse. 

Tobin might be overthinking this. Slightly, a little bit, and it’s a surprising thought, because Tobin doesn’t overthink often. But this technically has to do with soccer, with the team, and she’s letting it affect things off the pitch, which could eventually affect things on the pitch. Their first game is in nine days and even though they’re all still playing well, she’s worried they won’t be by then.

She can’t get her worries out of her head, so she does the only thing she knows how to do when she’s overthinking, and she heads to the field. Even though it’s almost midnight and she has class early and should be sleeping, or at least pretending to sleep.

There’s a few people as she crosses campus, a couple walking and swinging their hands, a girl with her nose buried in her phone, and a boy that recklessly skateboards past them all, unfocused and probably high. Tobin rolls her ball between her hands, mind spinning non-stop and distracted until she finally reaches the stadium. She’s eternally grateful Coach Anson agreed to give her the nighttime code without asking questions, that he hadn’t even questioned her responsibility with it. 

The field is dark, but the lights from the surrounding campus filter over it enough that she can see the left goal and the person in front of it. She can’t see who it is, but when they strike and the ball goes in Tobin’s stomach sinks at the recognition of the movement. She’s frozen as she watches her line up again, take another shot that sinks perfectly, before turning around to reach for another ball and catching sight of Tobin staring at her.

“Hey.” Christen calls across the field, taking a few steps closer. “Who’s there?”

“Uh, It’s Tobin.” She says, cringes when Christen halts immediately and her shoulders tense. Tobin takes a few steps back, towards the tunnel. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were here. I’ll just- bye.”

“Wait!” Christen calls, freezing Tobin in her tracks, she takes a step closer but stops again, raising one of her hands in half a shrug, gesturing around the field. “You don’t have to leave, it’s not like there isn’t room.”

“Right, yeah. Thanks.” Tobin says, rubbing the back of her neck uncomfortably and dropping her ball to kick it towards the other end of the field. She doesn’t look back over at Christen, doesn’t move much, not until she hears the telltale smack of a foot hitting a ball. She relaxes slightly once it comes again, meaning Christen is back to shooting her goals, and she lets herself pop her ball up, juggles for a few minutes before letting it fall and working her feet over it, passing it back and forth. She zones out, lets the comfort of the ball at her feet soothe her nerves until she can forget about Christen across the field, some of the stress melting from her shoulders. 

“Hey.” She hears, startling her out of her zone and losing the ball a few feet to her left. She chases after it while Christen walks closer, stopping a few feet away to shift uncomfortably until Tobin looks up at her again. “I think I owe you an apology.”

“I- okay?” Tobin asks, confused.

“I shouldn’t have skipped out on you, and I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you I just wasn’t really sure how to talk to you.” Christen avoids looking at her, scuffing her feet on the grass. Tobin’s a little surprised, because she’s been so wrapped up in avoiding Christen herself she hadn’t thought that maybe she’d be avoiding her too.

“It’s okay,” she says slowly, hesitantly pushing her ball forward, closer to Christen, “I was kind of avoiding you too.” 

“Oh.” Christen says, voice relieved as she smiles a little before it drops again and she fidgets some more. “I’m still sorry that I didn’t... I don’t know, say goodbye I guess? I wasn’t sure how to look at you or stay until morning.”

“”It’s really okay.” Tobin says, taking another step closer and passing the ball lightly so it just bumps against Christen’s foot. “I wouldn’t have known what to do or say if you had stayed.”

“Okay, okay good.” Christen breathes out, smile coming back and she kicks the ball back. They pass back and forth for a few minutes until Christen speaks up again, “Things don’t have to be weird, right?”

“Of course not.” Tobin says automatically, even though things are definitely weird and she has no idea how to relax Christen, or herself, right now.

“I mean things are weird,” Tobin snorts and Christen cracks another smile, “but they don’t have to stay weird. We could just pretend nothing happened... again.”

They both cringe a little, but it makes Tobin breathe out a tiny laugh, shake her head and stand up straighter. She searches for Christen’s eyes for the first time that night and has to fight to keep an easy smile on her face once she does find them. Christen looks tired and nervous in a way that makes Tobin think this is important, that whatever they do next is really important.

“I’m okay with that.” She inhales deeply before the next bit, worried it might be the wrong thing but pretty sure it’s what Christen wants to hear right now. “We were drunk and did soemthing dumb, it doesn’t have to be anything more than that. We’ll just forget about it, it’s not a big deal.”

“Right, exactly.” Christen grins at her, and even though Tobin’s mouth feels almost rotted on the lie, on the idea of just forgetting about it, on the idea that it was a drunken mistake, she’s relieved to see Christen finally relax. She passes the ball back a little firmer this time, past Tobin, so she takes it as a challenge, passing it past Christen this time, until there’s a healthy distance between them. 

They make it another half hour before Christen bullies her into leaving, talking about the importance of rest as if Tobin isn’t the heaviest sleeper on the team. Not that Christen knows that yet, but it’s still adorable to see her trying to “educate” Tobin while yawning herself. Tobin just lets her talk, lets it wash over her as they head towards their apartments across campus. When they come to the split in the sidewalk Tobin sticks out her hand, sending Christen into a sharp laugh as she shakes it.

“Goodnight.” Christen says through a large smile, and Tobin is feeling a whole lot better about the idea of starting over again, of being able to get to know Christen as a teammate, maybe even a friend. Or at least she is until they make full eye contact and Tobin has the annoying urge to push some of Christen’s loose flyaways back from her forehead. 

  
“Goodnight.” She finally drops Christen’s hand, both of them turning up the winding paths to their dorms, and Tobin fights the desire to look back, to watch Christen go around the corner. She keeps her eyes forward and head high until she’s behind the building and can drop both, slumping and letting out a sigh that is half relief and half frustration. She might agree, think that starting over again is a good choice, the best choice, but it doesn’t mean Christen has suddenly stopped being so hot or that she doesn’t still remember the way her thighs tasted. It just means that Tobin is going to have to try even harder to push the echoes of Christen’s moans from her head and focus on getting to know her as a teammate, as a person. She collapses into bed immediately with a groan and a growing sense of dread, that this might be harder than she wants it to be. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don’t super love this chapter but it’s fine because I think I like the next one

Tobin makes it through the next nine days only by pushing herself to her wits end- trying to coach Alex through her newest Servando crisis, actually focusing on her homework, and pushing herself hard at practice. Anson notices, because of course he does, but he doesn’t say much too her beyond a “good job” or “cool down” which is an odd relief. It’s becoming easier and easier to look at Christen and not have flashbacks to her hair spread across a pillow, or to stand close to her and not want to push her against the nearest wall. At practice she can shut those thoughts out entirely, just focus on the game and her feet, on passing and developing with her teammates. Everyone, especially Alex, seems relieved that whatever tension was there a week ago has dissipated, even if nobody has asked what it was. 

They have a game against UCLA in two days, and Tobin is excessively relieved it’ll be a home game. It gives her time to study for her test on Monday and she doesn’t have to worry about finding a roommate for a trip to California. She holes up in her room when they’re not at practice, until the day before when Alex reminds her that they have to go to the diner. She grumbles and rolls her eyes the entire way to the restaurant, but Alex just ignores her, nose buried in her phone.

“Stop complaining, you know this is important.” Alex finally says, once they’ve reached the door of the diner. Tobin rolls her eyes but does shut her mouth, lets Alex lead the way to the table and tell her where to sit- she doesn’t even realise it’s next to Christen until she hears her laugh a few seconds later, looking at Kelley across the table.

“I’m just saying, I think coach needs to get laid.” Kelley’s hands are raised in the air, an innocent shrug as half the table laughs and half goans. 

“Ew I so don’t want to think about that.” Tobin says as she unfolds her napkin and puts it on her lap, steepling her hands and leaning on them to glare at Kelley. Kelley just huffs and rolls her eyes, leaning back and throwing an arm over Emily’s chair next to her. Tobin raises an eyebrow as Emily’s cheeks flush, but doesn’t say anything.

“Hi.” Christen says as their teammates pull into various conversations. She looks over to smile at her briefly before turning back to face Alex across from her, nose still in her phone.

“Hey.” She keeps her tone neutral, the way she would if she were talking to JJ or Becky and pretends not to notice Christen still staring at the side of her head.

“So, I’ve never been here before.” She says after a pause, and Tobin slowly realises they’re the only two not in a conversation, not animatedly chattering to each other (well except Alex, but she’s still typing furiously). She reluctantly turns to face Christen a little, looking to the menu in her hands and Christen’s furrowed brow as she looks at it. “What’s actually good?”

“The burgers and the breakfast food.” Tobin reaches over to flip a page of the menu for her, ignores their fingers brushing together and the way it makes her want to blush. “The chicken can be sketchy, and the sandwich bread is always soggy.”

“So why do we come here?” Christen raises an eyebrow and Tobin has to smile a little, because yeah, fair question.

“I don’t know, it’s just tradition at this point.” She shrugs, pretends not to notice Christen staring at her with a small, confused frown. “It was tradition even before HAO went here.”

“HAO as in Heather O'Reilly?”

“Yeah, she came to visit my sophomore year and told us this was a tradition even when she was a freshman.” She smiles at the memory, doesn’t notice that she’s absentmindedly looking at Christen while she does so until Christen shifts and drops her eyes back to the menu. Tobin clears her throat and looks away quickly, down to her own menu even though she already knows what she’s getting. 

“I want to meet HAO.” Christen says eventually, almost a pout. Tobin snorts at her and she smiles back, and it feels okay now, the brief uncomfortable moment pushed aside. Christen looks back down to the menu and points to the breakfast section. “How are the omelettes?”

“Fucking amazing.” Kelley interrupts, eyes wide and eager, sending both Christen and Tobin into laughter as she starts raving about how good they are. They catch each other’s eyes half way through her rant and giggle to each other as Kelley keeps trying to explain the “perfect fluffiness” and “orgasmic taste” of the eggs. Eventually she stops when she realises Emily is laughing at her too, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair. “They’re really fucking good, okay?”

“Yeah Kell, we got that.” Christen says and Tobin snorts, knocks their shoulders together, and it feels good, feels normal. Or at least what normal with a teammate should feel like.

~~~

They win, 2-1, and Tobin spins Alex around when she jumps in her arms, whooping with her teammates as they cheer before lining up to slap hands. In the locker room she and Kelley scream at each other, chanting the school song, and she laughs through showering and changing, until they’re all filing out of the locker room.. 

“Okay!” Alex shouts a few seconds later, half the team stopping to listen while the rest head home to bed. Tobin doesn’t really blame them, but she knows she’s not getting out of whatever Alex has planned. “The guys team is having a celebration for us at Servando’s house,” Tobin smirks at Alex who just flips her off, “and if we leave now there should be some beer left for us.”

Kelley and Emily both fist pump, cheering loudly before turning and leading the way off campus. Tobin walks slowly, not interested in getting stuck with the girls jumping on each others backs and cheering. She watches with a fond smile as Ashlyn and Ali grab hands and slowly slip away from the group, no doubt going back to one of their rooms. Kelley jumps on Emily’s back while Christen nervously walks beside them with her hands out, like she might catch Kelley if she falls. Not that Emily would ever let her fall, but Christen doesn’t know that yet so it’s still cute to see her so nervous, even as people shout and cheer around her.

The party itself isn’t very crowded, barely anyone but the two soccer teams and maybe fifteen others there, but people are drinking, celebrating the boys win on Wednesday and the girls win tonight. Tobin leans against the bar on the edge of the room and smirks out at Alex and Servando, already slipping away and towards the stairs. Kelley whistles at them, Alex flipping her off over her shoulder, and Tobin feels oddly peaceful as she sips on her water, trying to cool her dizzy head, and watches her friends being idiots on the makeshift dance floor.

“Hey.” Christen comes to lean next to her, smiling as she pulls her hair up with one hand, clearly hot as she presses a beer can against her neck. Tobin hands her water over without thinking, has to ignore the tug in her stomach as their fingers brush and she remembers the last time they shared a water. Christen doesn’t notice her internal struggle, just smiles out at the room and sighs. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” She looks away from Christen, takes the water back gingerly, and keeps watching their teammates jump around, laughs when Lindsey tries to jump on AD’s back, who just shrugs her off like she weighs nothing. Christen tenses beside her suddenly, and Tobin looks over in confusion only to see Tommy coming near them as Christen whispers out, “Oh fuck me.”

She turns, not really thinking about what this could look like to their teammates, about what it’ll feel like to her, and places herself in front of Christen. She puts her hand on either side of her against the bar counter and looks up at her with an over exaggerated eye roll. Christen snorts, head falling onto Tobin’s shoulder, and it’s a little funny to see Tommy’s face fall once he comes closer. Christen giggles, almost into her neck, and Tobin ignores the shivers it sends down her spine, forces herself to laugh with her. They keep both their heads down, almost into each other’s necks, until Tommy backs away and back to the makeshift dance floor. Christen picks her head back up with a bright smile on her face, and Tobin can’t get herself to move, can’t move her arms from their spot around her.

“Thank you.” Christen breathes out, smile fading from something bright to soft as she flicks back and forth between Tobin’s eyes, before they drop for a second. Tobin’s breath catches in her throat before a bolt of panic shoots up her spine, remembering where they are who’s around them. She finally unsticks her hands from the counter, pulls away and to the side, not looking at Christen. They both sip their drinks quietly, humour gone as they stare out at the house and watch their teammates.

“Can you take us home?” Alyssa comes out of nowhere a few minutes later, supporting a very drunk Rose. Tobin nods, putting her cup down and shifting to put her arm under Rose’s to help a bit. Rose smiles and babbles something, but Tobin ignores it to look up at Christen watching them.

“Bye, Christen.” She says, voice quiet and almost unhearable under Rose’s drunken chatter, but she knows Christen can hear her, is staring at her even as Tobin avoids eye contact.

“Bye Tobin.” She says as they pass, fingers brushing against Tobin’s arm and sending goosebumps over it. It takes Tobin until they’re outside and a block away to shake the feeling, to stop thinking about it.

“So, is everything like, okay with you two?” Alyssa asks after they get Rose in bed and are walking back to their own building, startling Tobin out of her thoughts.

“With me and who?” She asks, half playing dumb and half hoping Alyssa is asking about something else. She’s not of course.

“With you and Christen. Things seemed a little… tense?” Alyssa is uncomfortable asking this, Tobin can tell, but she also kind of needs to tell someone and Alyssa is the least likely to tell someone else about it.

“Kind of yes, kind of no?” She says, waits for Alyssa to wave her to continue on. “We may have kind of… hooked up.”

“Hooked up as in made out or hooked up as in…” She fades out and Tobin cringes.

“The second one.”

“Oh.” Alyssa exhales out, shaking her head before looking up to the sky briefly. “Okay well, did it not go well? Is it weird because it was bad?”

“Uh, no, that was definitely not the problem.” Tobin laughs a little, because of course that’s where Alyssa’s brain went. She always surprises her. “The problem is that it was a mistake.”

“Why?” Alyssa stops them, turns to face Tobin with crossed arms and a blank expression. It’s oddly comforting that Alyssa is so unflappable, doesn’t even seem shocked or surprised or mad or anything at Tobin. 

“Because she’s a teammate and should just stay a teammate.” Alyssa doesn’t look impressed with that answer, but eventually she shrugs and starts walking again. They’re almost to the apartment building when she speaks up again.

“I think you already know that’s not a very good reason,” Alyssa takes a deep breath, “but I know you and I know you don’t really do relationships, so if that’s the reason that makes sense to you, then okay. But if Kelley and Alex find out they won't accept that easily.”

“I know.” She says quietly and almost jumps when Alyssa reaches out and squeezes her shoulder tightly.

“If you need to talk about it sometime, I’m here for you.” It’s soft, genuine, and sometimes Tobin forgets that even though Alyssa is quiet and a bit anti-social, she’s still one of Tobin’s best friends on the team. 

“I know, ‘Lyss, thank you.” Alyssa smiles tightly at her before turning towards her side of the building with a quiet “goodnight” and doesn’t look back. Tobin walks slowly back to her room, fiddling with her keys and trying to still her mind. She knows Alyssa is right, it’s not a good reason and it’s not one Tobin can hold on to for long, but for now it’s all she’s got. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes at the end because spoilers

* * *

Tobin spends the next two weeks feeling like she’s in a bit of a trance. Alex and Servando seem to have their shit together for once, and it leaves Tobin with enough free time to finish her homework and escape to the field almost every night. She doesn’t see Christen there again, which is both a relief and a disappointment, but she is able to actually practice some uninterrupted dribbling, something she doesn’t get often during practice.

She doesn’t see Christen much at all actually, which makes sense when Kelley mentions she’s been holed up studying for a business midterm. Because of course she forgot Christen was not only a double major, but double majoring in business and marketing. Just the idea of having that much work makes Tobin’s head spin, and she’s not surprised she hasn’t seen her off the pitch. Not that she was looking for her. Definitely not.

~~~

“So.” Kelley says, startling Tobin out of her bite of breakfast burrito, making some of the fillings fall out. She glares down at it, and then back up at Kelley who snorts. “Nice job.”

“Bitch.” Tobin says back, annoyed when her voice comes out fond instead of irritated. Kelley just smiles brighter and sets her tray down across from her, staring at her until Tobin shifts a little uncomfortably. “What, Kell?”

“I have a date for you,” she grins, even as Tobin starts furiously shaking her head, “for the banquet.”

“I’m not taking another one of your crazy friends Kelley. I would rather go alone that take someone like Janie again.” Kelley cringes a little apologetically but Tobin knows she’s not going to back down.

“Don’t worry it’s nothing like Janie, I swear, scouts honor.” She raises her hand up, places it on her chest, and Tobin snorts.

“That’s not the scouts honor symbol, Kell.” 

“Ugh, whatever!” Kelley rolls her eyes, palms slapping down on the table. “The point is, she won’t be interested in you so you won’t have to worry about it.”

“Are you trying to set me up with a straight girl?” Tobin asks, both confused and slightly amused as Kelley huffs at her.

“Ew no, I would never.” Tobin laughs a little at that, but stops as soon as Kelley opens her mouth again. “It’s just Christen, she also doesn’t have a date.”

“No.” Tobin says immediately, winces when Kelley raises an eyebrow. “I just mean that Christen should probably bring a real date, so she can have fun. It’s her first banquet.”

“Sure.” Kelley drags out, clearly not believing a word out of Tobin’s mouth. “She’ll have fun with you Tobin, and besides she already agreed to it.”

“She did?” Tobin asks, eyebrows raised as Kelley shrugs. She can’t tell if she’s lying or not, but she’s not sure why she would lie about it. 

“Yeah, she doesn’t really want to go with a stranger so she said it would be fine.” Kelley picks up a forkful of eggs and takes a large bite. She’s waiting for Tobin to respond, and the pause extends a little too long to be comfortable before Tobin gives in with a sigh.

“Fine, whatever.” Kelley grins through her mouthful of food and Tobin looks away from it, back to her burrito which suddenly looks a lot less appetizing with her nervous stomach.

~~~

The banquet itself is a fall semester benefit the athletics board throws, inviting all the Athletes to a fancy hotel where they rent out the ballroom and fill it with food and mediocre DJing. Each year one of the basketball or lacrosse teams spikes the punch, and everyone either ends up very drunk or drinking from the water coolers all night and watching drunk athletes make fools of themselves. Tobin knows sometimes a few athletes will check out rooms, take their dates upstairs and not come back down the rest of the night. She’s never done it, not the past two years and she’s definitely not planning on it this year.

A week after Kelley surprised her at breakfast Tobin finds herself downtown with her and Alex, sitting on the floor of a dress shop as they parade around and try on dresses. Tobin rolls her eyes as Kelley goes on and on about her date, who isn’t Emily, and she fights the constant urge to tell her to shut up. She might not really understand the thing between them, but she’s pretty sure Emily isn’t the type to let jealousy fuel her actions, and that this whole thing is just going to flop in Kelley’s face.

“What do you think?” Tobin looks up from her phone to glance at Alex in a long blue dress. It has flecks like sparkles on it and she smiles when Alex swishes the skirt.

“You look beautiful.” Tobin says honestly, smiles brighter as Alex beams and twirls away. She zones out again, ignores as the other two compare dresses, until something Kelley says filters through.

“Yeah, Christen’s dress is this really pretty pink thing, it’s unfair how hot she is in it.” Kelley snorts and Alex shakes her head in a laugh. Tobin freezes a little as she listens, losing focus on her game as she strains to hear them better.

“I almost wish you’d given her a real date, she really needs to get laid.” Alex says and Tobin nearly chokes on air. She is so, so grateful that neither of them are paying her any attention as her face heats up and she tries to get her breathing under control. It takes a few seconds, but eventually she inhales enough air to calm the burning in her throat and force her cheeks to cool down. She doesn’t try to listen to the rest, overly worried they’ll catch her and then start asking questions. She thought Alex had guessed, about what happened between the two of them, but apparently she hasn’t and Tobin is not interested in changing that. 

“Ready?” Alex’s hand pops under Tobins nose a few minutes later. She looks up to see both of them back in their regular clothes, holding shopping bags over their arms. Tobin must have really been stuck in her head to miss them checking out, and takes Alex’s hand to pull herself up as she tries to clear her head. “What are you wearing anyways?”

“Don’t know yet.” Tobin shrugs, ignores Kelley’s eyeroll and Alex’s dropped jaw, and starts walking to the door, leading them out. She walks quickly enough that they stay behind her, chatting to each other, but close enough that she can still pick out bits and pieces of their conversation. Except it’s pointless because it’s all about hair and makeup and different shoes, and nothing that Tobin is actually listening for.

~~~

Their last practice next week is cut short, with a game coming on Friday, the banquet on Saturday, and everyone either just finishing or in the middle of midterms, Anson seems to be feeling lenient. It’s not enough for Tobin though, who already finished her midterms and essays, so she stays behind, stays with Alyssa and Emily to practice.

It’s her against them, because Emily refuses to be on her team, so she spends almost five straight minutes just trying to get past her to the goal. She’s about to give up, maybe even lightly shove her in annoyance, when she spots Christen running down the side with her hand raised. Alyssa shouts, but the warning to Emily is too late, the ball already speeding to Christen who one-touches it. Alyssa saves it, because of course she does, but Tobin is still grinning at Christen who smiles brightly back at her.

“No way, this won’t be fair.” Emily pouts, crossing her arms and glaring between them. Christen just laughs before backing up down the field, Tobin following on the right side. 

“Afraid of a challenge?” She taunts, grins even bigger when Emily huffs and uncrosses her arms, settling into a better stance.

“Come at me, bro.” Emily says, arms stretched out wide, and Tobin snorts, shakes her head and laughs, takes the pass Alyssa sends her with ease and sends it right to Christen.

They keep it up for maybe twenty minutes, and it’s pretty evenly tied between saves and goals, when Alyssa catches the ball and then keeps holding it. Tobin knows this means she’s done, but she’s still feeling wired, isn’t ready to stop yet. She watches Emily grab the ball so Alyssa can take her gloves off, and then walk off the field, but she doesn’t follow, turns away before they’re even halfway off. Instead she runs down, to where the ball bag is still resting at midfield and pulls a few out. She kicks them easily towards the goal, lines them up and takes steady breaths.

She’s on her second round when a throat clears behind her, and she turns to see Christen standing there, watching with an unreadable expression. She’s surprised, because she thought Christen had gone in with Emily and Alyssa, but it doesn’t look like she ever left. Tobin straightens up and turns to face her fully, waiting for Christen to speak up.

“Do you wanna pass for a bit?” She sounds nervous, which is different and strange, in a way that makes Tobin feel guilty. As much as she’d like to pretend she and Christen are fine, that she’s just like any other teammate, Tobin knows she’s still holding her at a bit of distance. It’s a defensive action, but in this moment Tobin also realises it’s one that’s making Christen nervous around her. 

“Yeah, of course.” She says, smiles bright at Christen until her expression smoothes out, into a neutral smile. She passes to her softly, so the ball just rolls to her foot, and laughs in surprise when Christen kicks it back hard. They only keep it up for about ten minutes before Tobin feels her mind finally start to settle, and stops the ball on the next pass. “I’m good now, you good?”

“Sure.” Christen shrugs easily, turns to help collect the balls scattered around the field so they can pack them up, until Tobin waves her off to gather the last few on her own. Tobin slowly drags the bag down to the closet while Christen heads straight to the locker room. 

She doesn’t really think about the fact that it’s just them when she comes in and pulls her shirt and shorts off, doesn’t think about the shower turning off as much of anything until Christen walks around the corner with just a towel on and they both freeze. Christen’s eyes are wide, flickering between Tobin’s face to her stomach and thighs. Tobin has a violent flashback to the way Christen had demanded she take her pants off, had pushed her down on her bed - over a month ago and yet the memory still fresh in her mind. 

Christen opens her mouth like she might say something, but shuts it quickly, eyes still dragging. She’s clutching her towel tight, but it’s not exactly long and Tobin can see almost all of her thighs, the tops of her breasts. She has to swallow thickly, trying to wet her mouth and release some of the tension in her throat, but it doesn’t help. If anything it makes things worse because it’s the only sound in the silent room and Christen’s eyes have zeroed in on her throat.

Tobin’s locker is three down from Christen’s, four away from the entrance to the showers. They’re about ten feet away from each other and Tobin can’t help but feel like it’s both too much and too little space as she struggles to breathe properly. Her shoulders tense when Christen takes a step forward, but she just turns to her locker, breaking her gaze and looking straight into it. Christen’s back is ramrod straight and tight as she grabs clothes out of her locker, but she just stands there holding them for a second. Tobin realises she’s still staring and jumps, turns to grab her own towel and clothes, keeping at least five feet between them as she skirts around to the shower room and tries not to look up at Christen. 

She turns the water on cold and dunks her head under immediately, shaking a bit under the freezing stream, but it helps clear her head. Helps her think about the fact that they are in their team’s locker room, where Emily once put fake spiders in Rose’s locker as a prank and once Kelley walked into her locker door when she wasn’t paying attention, giving herself a black eye. She forces herself to wash her hair slowly, no matter how much she shivers, to take as much time as she can in the hopes that when she comes out she’ll be alone.

She is, thankfully, and she dresses as fast she can as she tries to warm up from the cold shower. Once she has her shoes on she leaves quickly, heading home so she can try to force herself to sleep, try to force her brain to shut off for a while.

It doesn’t work very well, she lies there for half an hour desperately trying to keep her mind clear until she’s too exhausted to stop her brain. Too exhausted to stop the flashes of memory coming through or her hands from sliding down her hips at the thought of them.

~~~

_ “I like your room.” Christen says, looking around it slowly and Tobin has to fight a blush down. She doesn’t usually take people back to her room, and having Christen there is unnerving in a way that makes Tobin want to throw something over the picture of the team on her desk or the teddy bear on her chair. She doesn’t, because even if she might be a little tipsy she knows that would be weird, and instead she takes a step closer to Christen, pulling her eyes away from the room. _

_ Christen steps forward once their eyes connect, and then her hands are everywhere- Tobin’s shoulders, waist, hips, the edge of her ribcage. It’s sudden and it stops her breath for a second when Christen boldly grazes the bottom of her left breast, and then leaves her thumb there, stroking slightly. Tobin’s hands have been stuck on her hips but now they move, one around her back and one to the back of Christen’s neck, squeezing it slightly when Christen grips her thigh a little too tightly.  _

_ “Take this off.” Christen’s voice is dark, almost husky, as she tugs on Tobin’s shirt, dragging it up her stomach. Tobin raises her arms, lets her pull it off before reaching forward to tug Christen’s dress off as well. It slides over her thighs and Tobin groans when she sees the lacy balck underwear, her thighs practically shining in the dim light. She pretends not to notice the way Christen’s eyes are dancing all over her torso, pretends hers aren’t doing the exact same thing once Christen’s dress is on the ground. _

_ Christen pushes her suddenly, a little roughly, until her thighs hit the back of the bed and she stumbles a little climbing onto it, Christen pushing her with a surprising amount of strength so she sits a little heavily. She tries to move back, to give Christen room to follow, but she just grabs her knees, keeping her in place and looking down at her. It’s hot, the way Christen’s pupils are blown wide and her chest is rising and falling a little too quickly- she almost looks overwhelmed, and Tobin has the terrifying thought that this might be Christen’s first time. _

_ But then Christen is moving, a hand high on Tobin’s chest pushing her down so Christen can climb up and swing her legs over Tobin’s straddling her. Any worries she had disappear as Christen grinds down, pressing hard enough that a strangled sound slips out of Tobin’s throat at the feeling. Christen smirks, in a way that makes Tobin’s cheeks flush as her hand draws down from her sternum, between her breasts to her stomach, where she traces her abs slightly before pulling her hand back up, slipping a finger under Tobin’s sports bra. _

_ Her fingers are a little cold, sending goosebumps across Tobin’s skin, and she gasps when a finger brushes her nipple, the difference between her hot skin and Christen’s cold almost over stimulating. Her hips shift, involuntarily, and her left hand grabs Christen’s thigh, running up and down it slowly as Christen continues to trace around and over her nipple. Christen leans down suddenly, slotting her lips over Tobin’s, and the kiss is hot, needy, Christen grinding down while her hand flattens out, squeezes Tobin’s boob and the other comes up to rest on her shoulder.  _

_ Tobin tilts her head back to breathe, almost gasping, and she’d be embarrassed that she’s so affected by how little Christen is doing, but when she looks up Christen is biting her lip, still grinding down, and it’s obviously working for her, so Tobin doesn’t let the embarrassment come. Instead she pushes up, until she can get her mouth on Christen’s neck. She relishes in the little moan that comes out when she bites slightly, soothes it with her tongue before sucking the skin into her mouth. It’s going to leave a mark, they both know it, and when she releases the skin she grins in satisfaction at Christen, who just rolls her eyes. _

_ She rolls them suddenly, surprising Christen, and manages to get Christene’s bra pulled up, over the top of her breasts so she can lean down and lick a stipe up her right nipple. It makes the hand Christen has in her hair tighten, pulling a little, and Tobin moans at the sensation, ignores the smirk Christen gets when she does it again, eliciting the same sound. _

_ “You like that?” Christen whispers, voice somehow both shy and confident at the same time. _

_ “It feels good.” Tobin whispers, leaning down to Christen’s ear, pulling on the lobe with her teeth for a second before whispering into it. “You feel good.” _

_ And there’s something in the way Christen breathes out, heavy and almost a sigh, while her hips buck up slightly. Something about those words that Christen definitely likes, and Tobin’s brain is trying to put it together, trying to figure it out, when Christen surges up suddenly. It pushes their chest together, as she sits up under Tobin, her hands reaching up to pull her own bra off and then tug on Tobin’s. When they come back together Tobin has to stop a ridiculous sound from leaving her mouth at the sensation of their nipples brushing against each other. She’s about to reach up, to ghost her hands over Christen, when her wrists are suddenly being grabbed and Christen is pulling back slightly.  _

_ “Take your pants off.” She says, and the way her voice sounds sends shivers down Tobin’s spine. It’s demanding, authoritative, and Tobin didn’t know that was a thing for her but she thinks she might die just from the sound of it.  _

_ She’s off the bed in a flash, pulling her jeans down while Christen watches and it’s hot, it’s so hot, that Tobin decides to take her time, to slide them down slowly, keeping her eyes on Christen’s face as she watches. It’s worth it to see the way her eyes darken and her mouth parts once Tobin stands up fully again, once she’s climbing back onto the bed. _

_ Christen doesn’t let her get far, as soon as both her knees are on it she’s reaching up, pushing her down so Tobin falls to the side. Christen swings her legs over and grinds down hard, nothing between them but their underwear, and Tobin’s breath catches, eyes closing. Christen doesn’t stop, just keeps grinding down as her hands wander up, one into Tobin’s hair again and one wandering over her stomach.  _

_ She nearly screams when Christen’s mouth suddenly slides over her nipple, eyes shooting open to look down. Christen is looking up at her, and there’s a smirk in her eyes that drives Tobin to another groan, head falling back as she grasps the sheets. Christens mouth is incessant, teeth pulling slightly and then tongue soothing and Tobin is so turned on she thinks her underwear must be soaked.  _

_ Christen starts sliding down, and Tobin doesn’t have the breath to stop her, to try and take a turn first. She just loses herself in the sensations of Christen kissing along her stomach, brushing over her hips to her thighs. She gasps when Christen slides a hand under her, pulling her hips up with one arm and her underwear down with the other, until they’re halfway down Tobin’s thighs and she drops her hips. Tobin hits the bed and before she’s even realised Christen’s gotten her underwear off all the way, her fingers are dancing over the edges of Tobin, light sensations that almost tickle.  _

_ “Fuck, you’re so wet.” Christen breathes, like it’s the hottest thing she’s ever seen, like she’s almost surprised. Tobin groans, throws an arm over her mouth to muffle herself, but Christen won’t have it she reaches up to pull the arm away, pulling her wrist back down to the bed. “I want to hear you.” She whispers and Tobin thinks she might come just from hearing that alone. She manages to nod, too overwhelmed to say anything, and Christen brings her hands back down, over Tobin’s thighs. _

_ The first touch of Christen’s fingers nearly sends Tobin flying, her torso lifting automatically with a gasping moan, and she bites her lip hard to stop another one from slipping out. Christen smirks up at her but her eyes go back down quickly, focused on the way she slides a finger slowly inside while Tobin nearly loses her mind at the feeling. Christen’s fingers are long and slender, and Tobin is so wet it slides in easily, quickly followed by a second. She lets tobin adjust for a second before moving them again, sliding them in and out before curling them slightly.  _

_ Tobin can’t hold in the moan as she collapses back down, body gasping and flushing as Christen fucks her slowly, not nearly enough to send Tobin over the edge but slowly drawing her there, building her up. She’s about to ask for another finger, beginning to feel desperate when Christen’s tongue suddenly slides against her, making her gasp on half a scream and half a moan. _

_ It’s barely seconds later when she’s pushed to the edge, can feel her walls tightening and tightening, until Christen’s teeth suddenly drag against her clit. She falls into her orgasm with a deep moan, tightening around Christen’s fingers and almost feeling like she might blackout. Christen draws her through it, pulls her fingers out slowly and Tobin barely catches her sticking them in her mouth before her eyes are closing and she can start regaining her breathing.  _

_ “Was that okay?” Christen asks, and Tobin opens her eyes. Her voice is smug, but there’s something in her eyes, something almost nervous and needy, and Tobin remembers earlier, remembers the way she reacted to Tobin’s words earlier. _

_ “That was so good, you were so good.” She says, voice still a little breathless as she watches the way the words affect Christen. She almost seems to shiver, chest flushing and Tobin swears her nipples seem to harden. She sits up and reaches out, brushing a hand across her stomach and up, wanting to see exactly how much her words could affect her. “You’re so good,” Christen breathes in sharply, “will you be good for me?” _

_ “Yes.” Christen whines out, and fuck it’s beautful to watch the way her head tilts back slightly, the way she almost seems to grow desperate by the words. Tobin slides her hands down, pulls Christen’s hips until she's on her back, head against the pillows, and Tobin is just looking down at her from the foot of the bed, watching her breath heavily. She climbs up slowly, dragging her lips from Christen’s knee to her hips, ghosting over her stomach until she’s stradling her, has her arms on either side of her shoulder, uses her nose to tilt her head to the side. _

_ She sucks on the same spot from earlier, fights a grin as Christen gasps, hips tilting up. She slides a hand down to push against it, holding her down with her own hips and hand, and Christen lets out the most beautiful groan she’s ever heard. Tobin pulls back, slides her lips down to the tops of her breasts, and smirks into them when her hips raise again. She puts on a serious expression though and pulls back, pushing her own hips down so Christen gasps.  _

_ “Are you going to be good?” She asks, and Christen looks up at her with wide eyes, biting her lip. Tobin has to fight hard not to lean down and bite it herself, keeping her face straight. “Are you going to stay still?” _

_ “Yes.” Christen breathes, eyes almost sliding shut as her hips still. Tobin leans back down, back to brushing her lips lightly against her breasts, and it’s beautiful the way Christen tense but doesn’t move, keeps her hips restrained even as whines come spilling out of her throat. She only makes it a minute or two before she’s begging. “Tobin, please, please.” _

_ “You’re being so good.” She whispers, and swears she could get off just from watching the way that affects Christen. The way her head tilts back and her hands fist harder in the sheets, the way it sends a flush over her cheeks and she’s practically trembling underneath Tobin. _

_ Tobin grinds down suddenly, pushing their hips together and Christen gasps loudly. Tobin moves quickly, not wanting to make Christen wait any longer even if it is the hottest sight she’s ever seen. She leaves Christen’s underwear on, just slides her finger slowly over it and relishes in the way Christen gasps and groans, tries to push against her. She doesn’t tease for long, already worked up again herself just by the sight, and pushes Christen’s underwear to the side, sliding a finger in slowly. Christen’s back arches and Tobin can’t help herself, leans down to suck on her thigh, licking over it. Christen gets a hand in her hair and pulls tightly and Tobin can’t stop the small moan in her throat as she pulls back to see her face screwed up tight, breathing uneven. _

_ “You’re doing so good, Chris.” She says, sliding another finger in, and Christen lets out the deepest moan Tobin has ever heard, sending heat to her thighs, so she has to grind down on the bed slightly herself, just to relieve some of the pressure.  _

_ Christen is tightening around her fingers, but Tobin can tell it’s not enough. She uses her other thumb to brush across her clit, once, twice, slowly, before rubbing steady circles over it. Christen’s breathing increases, and Tobin can feel her walls tightening and loosening, getting close to the edge. Christen’s hand is tight in her hair, and Tobin knows it’ be sore in the morning, but it’s worth it to see her like this.  _

_ “You’re such a good girl.” Tobin whispers against her thigh, and that’s it, Christen tumbles over the edge with gasping breaths, closing around Tobin’s fingers in the most delicious way. She eases her through it, slowly pumps her fingers in and out until Christen stops trembling and her hand relaxes a bit. She pulls out slowly and moves to the side, trailing her wet fingers up over Christen’s thigh to rest on her hip, and watching as she slowly blinks her eyes open. _

_ “Fuck.” She whispers out, turning her head to smile at Tobin. Tobin grins back before trailing her fingers up again, to brush against the bottom of her breast. “If you keep doing that we’re going to have to go again.” _

_ “I’m fine with that.” Tobin says immediately, smirking at her. “I like the way you respond to praise.” _

_ Christen flushes, and Tobin can’t tell if it’s from embarrassment or pleasure, so she leans forwards to kiss her. It’s not very hard, just a lazy tangle of lips and tongue, but it still spikes pleasure down Tobin’s thighs until she has to fist a hand in the sheets to keep from pressing her hips against Christen’s thigh. Christen notices though, pulls back to grin sharply and pushes Tobin’s shoulder until she rolls on her back. _

_ “I guess it’s your turn, again.” Christen says before sliding down her body and using her tongue without any warning.  _

_ Christen gets her off again and she gets Christen off twice more before they’re both too spent, exhausted and collapsed against Tobin’s sheets. Christen’s eyes close quickly, breathing evening out, and Tobin doesn’t even think about the morning or the fact that she never lets girls fall asleep in her bed. She just closes her eyes and lets the exhaustion take her. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so 2 things:  
1\. I take the GRE today in about two hours and I am freaking out because my score determines if I stay in my grad program and become degree seeking and that’s so fucking scary  
2\. I’m Grey-Ace so this was really weird for me to write? My girlfriend had to help me with a lot of it because I just kept wanting to make them cuddle and she was like “babe you set this up you told me you want to write this” so shout out to her for being supportive and holding me accountable to my whims even tho she’s hella busy- love you, mean it 😉


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